12 Ways to Understand and Handle Stress. 0 Book. Only Experience.

The reason I care about stress is that due to stress, we do 99% of the things, that we don’t need to do. This leads to more stress. More irrelevant deeds. I share my two cents on the same, based on my experience.

This article took me a long time to publish because I was trying to experience stress in different situations and have complete clarity within me. The next natural act is to share with you.

There are 12 tiny chapters as follows.

• Five (5) Ideas for Understanding Stress
• Seven (7) Ideas for Handling Stress

Understanding Stress 1 (Stress = Useful)

Stress is good.
Stress is like friction.
Imagine what would have happened.
If there is no friction on the roads, we travel.
Friction helps us to stop the car.
Rectify our mistakes, and navigate into a different lane.
Friction is extremely useful.
Friction is like an eraser.
Stress is useful.
But, how much?
There is an optimum friction coefficient.
There should be an optimum stress coefficient.

Understanding Stress 2 (Stress = Conflict)

Stress happens due to conflict.
Just like friction.
For example.
When your expectations.
Is against reality, you experience.
To deal with friction.
Cars have to be built.
with different types of tires.
Stress is a conflict.
Either you vs. you.
Or you vs. someone else.

Understanding Stress 3 (Stress happens in Mind)

Friction doesn’t happen in the steering.
Friction only occurs in the tires.
Where does your stress take place?
In your mind. In your brain.
If you get a wound on your hand.
You get a stress there.
The wound happens due to friction.
Due to the conflict with hand.
And the sharp object.
Stress happens in your mind.
You have to control it.
The question is how?

Understanding Stress 4 (Stress = No Clarity)

Your expectations don’t meet reality.
Your expectations are flawed.
Expectations — >Actions.
Hence, your actions are flawed.
You don’t have clarity on how to react.
When someone says/does something.
You do not which task to prioritize.
Your College Exam or Your Competitive Exam.
Learning or Exam. The exam will lead to a job.
The job will lead to Good Financial stability.
Which is more important? Learning or Stability?
Make your principles.
From your life experiences.
Make a priority list.
Act according to that.
Update your list.
According to the next step.

Understanding Stress 5 (Stress = No Knowledge)

Reality will not move according to you.
You are less knowledgeable about the world.
You know that you have 24 hours.
Yet, you plan your day like you have 29.
You have to have knowledge about reality.
Then, you can map.
Your expectations.
Your actions.
According to reality.
You need to know.
What works?
What doesn’t work?
for you!

As you have understood that the problem exists in your mind. You get to experience stress in your mind. You sleep. Your stress goes away. You wake up. It again starts. It’s just in your mind. If there is a single sentence to address how to handle stress, it should control your mind. This is clearly impossible for most of the people. I understand that they are in pain or deep agony. I understand where they are coming from. But alas, the reality, the evolution, the life doesn’t work how you want it to happen. It is not comforting. Life does what it needs to do. You have to get over it. Do the things, that you want to do. Do the things, that you need to do. Simple. and Challenging. Let me tell you a few methods that have helped me in handling stress within myself.

Handling Stress 1 (The Instantaneous Method)

The name is a lie.
A method becomes instantaneous.
Only with practice.
This method however assumes the following.
You will do stressful things.
You will train your mind to deal with stress.
Extreme stress.
Deep breathing and meditation are the methods.
Because if you learn to focus on one point.
When stress comes.
Instead of overthinking about it.
You focus on some other point.
Deep breathing.
Meditation.
gives you time to think.
You act slowly. You think carefully.
You then act properly. Simple.
But this needs practice.
Of at least 45 days.
This needs discipline.
Essentially, you are controlling your thoughts.
Controlling your thoughts removes the problem.
from its core.
Walking around in nature.
Helps in focussing. Take a walk.

Handling Stress 2 (The Learning Method)

Every stressful moment.
Is a learning moment for you.
You are learning something.
You are experiencing something new.
That is your reward.
You fail. You learn.
You rectify.
You upgrade yourself.
You plan better.
You act cautiously.
You are transforming stress (negative in your mind)
Into learning (positive in your mind).
You will feel that you are not losing anything.
You are only gaining from stress.
In fact, every stressful moment.
Taught me something, important.

Handling Stress 2 (The Gita Method)

This method is widely known.
You must have heard someone tell you
“Stop expecting this or that...”
This is helpful for people, who expect a lot from life.
Their expectations surpass reality.
However, our brain runs on rewards.
We automatically start to expect.
When your ‘Expectation matches Reality’
Your brain gets rewards.
When it doesn’t it goes crazy.
You become stressed.
Either you manage your rewards.
Into something permanent like learning, or upgrading yourself.
Or you curb your expectations.
Because your true expectations will.
Never match the reality.

Handling Stress 3 (The Acceptance Method)

Imagine that there is a conflict between A and B.
If anyone says A accept what B says.
The conflict will instantly go away.
If you accept a conflict.
Whether it is you vs. you.
You accept based on your priority list.
Or you vs. something else.
You accept based on the future outcomes.
Your priorities. Your principles.
Then things will change a lot.
Your conflict goes away.
Always, at the end, you can move away.
Taking your learning.
And upgrading yourself.
This mental model always helps me.
However, this may have a downside.
Self-confidence can slowly dissipate.

Handling Stress 4 (The Let Out Method)

You have a stressful day.
You discuss it with your friend. It goes away.
The more stress you have inside.
The more talkative you have to become.
Temporarily. to let the emotions out.
Crying. Helps very much.
Stress is a conflict inside your mind.
As a dense pack of thoughts.
You have thought about that thing.
So many times. A lot of times.
That’s why it is giving you headaches.
Letting your thoughts out.
By crying. By talking to yourself.
By journalling. By talking to a friend.
By talking to a therapist. who will not judge?
and make it more stressful. Surely helps.
Absolutely! 100%. It works like wonders.
However, this is a short-term method.
This makes you depend on someone/something.
What if you are stressed about a very personal thing?
You cannot share.
Journalling is a safe place. I believe.
But the impact is less.

Handling Stress 6 (The Messiah Method) #The Most Popular!

This is the widely popular method.
The concept of a messiah/god.
Who is looking over you.
Who is looking after you.
Who is always planning to help you.
Directly, or indirectly.
If you are in a stressful situation, you say
“God is teaching me a lesson”.
You learn to accept. You learn to forgive.
And you try to learn and rectify.
This is equivalent to the learning method.
And also equivalent to the acceptance method.
This makes you feel loved.
You feel cared for. And it works out so well.
You give back love because you feel loved.
The best part is that, since this is a concept,
there is no human involved, you get zero judgment.
Such a beautiful idea, and a concept.
This makes the environment so organized.
This leads to a religion, a cult, or a society.
However, the downside is that.
You may lose your freedom of thought.
You may become stupid. Believing in it.
Blindly. Without questioning.
And depending on it every single moment.
You have to choose.

Handling Stress 7 (The Boomerang Method)

You should understand that not everyone has a smooth life.
Everyone has their own version of suffering.
One suffering is not bigger than the other.
Because different people have different backgrounds.
Thus the degree of suffering in them.
Varies. based on their situations.
Not according to your situation.
The more stress you give to someone else’s life.
The more likely it will come to you in the future.
It is because of how life works. In a domino effect.
What goes into, comes back, like a boomerang.
Make sure you put less stress into a person’s life.
The less likely you will face less stressful situations.
That’s why love and forgiveness play an important role.
When someone is loved, when someone is cared for.
The stress decreases for them. and thus in turn for you.
But remember, forgive but don’t forget.
Because if you forget, you are not learning anything.

The only issue, that may break you…

Some of the methods described above may make you lose your self-confidence, and make you dependent on a person, or something else every single moment. This can lead to trouble. Yes, it does address the issue of loneliness, love, and care, that is missing but it may make you incompetent of thinking for yourself, for your own good.

I hope this helps.
I have to tell you something.
Please do not follow me.
Try out these methods.
See what works for you.

If you experience some alternate method, do let me know in the comments, I would love to try it out. Understanding each of the above methods needs to be acted upon with discipline to see its effect in your life. Then only you will understand if it works for you or not. All the best.